| October 3, 2013

Clouds gather rushing through the fields as the winds blow and dust fills the air, I can see a man walking toward the end where the sky breaks the horizon, his hands in his pockets, his head down as his hair flow about him. the clocks hands move in deliberate motion, the earth rotates within the rhythms of time and creation, flowers bloom as the day flees the night and the light christens the day in its all dimensions. I can not look back, I can not stop, one step after the other ,  my longs are filled with air and the internal blueprint within me pushes me further to the next game, next adventure , the next situation , as it holds me to the promise of my being and my lust to survive.

I can not walk the earth, I can not move the clouds, the winds would not abide me and the sun would not adhere to my will, I am the accidental creature of symbols and customs, I am the celebration of acceptance and conformity, I am the eternal mistake, the secret of my tribe, the common link, I am merely a man and I am condemned to choose, to proceed, to continue, to turn the page, write a song, to sing in tongues, to grow within my skin within my shell of flesh and bones, and I am alone.

I was forced here, I did not know , I have been learning what I do not know. I am young and old in relativity of time and matter and all that does not, I am Divine, sinful , sane , a deity , macabre of paradoxes shadowing my presence and illuminating in my absence, there are galaxies bursting within me and fusions of abstracts glowing matters hurl within layers of me flesh and bones, and the bursts of light that carries the totalities of this reality within the grays of my brain, I perceive God and creation, I imagine heaven and hell and feel the most elusive senses within my veins, my flesh, my head, I am the one eyed beast, and the reality of this world I live in exists only within my conscious mind and this vast universe would come to end every time I die, for without me there is no perception of living and life.

I have been left out, not physically , I live within my circumstance, carrying my brief case, I hit the signs on the stages, I know my lines, I have practiced, I hit the notes and carry my weight, the show must go on, and there is no malice in me, I enjoy the sun’s glow and the colors of nature, the simple dialogues and familiarity of faces and incidents, I enjoy the rhythms and repetitions, habits and customs, I feel the cool fresh sense of water in my mouth and my throat. I chew hard and teeth the flesh of ripe fruits and devour the filling texture of the morsels I eat within layers and layers of me, I am all animal, all human, all urges, all desires and yet my sin is of apprehension and haste
As I stand eyes wide open atop of all my gatherings and situations, watching me, curious in learning of all there is human and earth bond, all that is of earth within me and all there is spirit, and that is how I miss the bells ringing, losing my flock, left behind……….